A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror. Mirrors have a very particular function. They reflect the image in front of them. Just as a physical mirror serves as the vehicle to reflection, so do all of the people in our lives. When we love someone, it’s a reflection of loving ourselves. Oftentimes, when we meet someone new, we feel as if we’ve known each other for a long time. That feeling can come from sharing similarities. We are comfortable because part of ourselves is being reflected. Just as the ‘mirror’ or other person can be a positive reflection, it is more likely that we’ll notice it when it has a negative connotation. Frequently, when we dislike qualities in other people, ironically, it’s usually the mirror that’s speaking to us. Example: Several years ago, I joined a friend who had invited several other friends as well. One woman, ‘Laura’ continuously dominated the conversation.
It was particularly annoying as I felt there was little opportunity to get to know the other people. It wasn’t until several weeks had passed that I questioned and couldn’t understand why was I so disturbed by Laura’s behavior as I didn’t have to be friends or spend more time with her. Finally, it hit me! I saw aspects of those same traits in me. I realized that the reason we met was for me to hold up the ‘mirror’ and see myself behaving in an unfavorable manner. So I began questioning myself further each time I encountered someone that I didn’t particularly like. Each time, I asked myself "What is it about that person that I don’t like?" And then "Is there something similar in me?” In every instance, and sometimes I had to really get very introspective, I could see a piece of that quality in me.
At times we meet someone new and feel distant, disconnected, or disgusted. Although we don’t want to believe it—and it’s not easy or desirable to look further —it can be a great learning lesson to figure out what part of the person is being reflected in you. It’s simply just another way to create more self-awareness.
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