The wholeness of life 健全的人生
Once a circle missed a wedge. The circle wanted to be whole, so it went around looking for its missing piece. But because it was incomplete and therefore could roll only very slowly, it admired the flowers along the way. It chatted with worms. It enjoyed the sunshine. It found lots of different pieces, but none of them fit. So it left them all by the side of the road and kept on searching. Then one day the circle found a piece that fit perfectly. It was so happy. Now it could be whole, with nothing missing. It incorporated the missing piece into itself and began to roll. Now that it was a perfect circle, it could roll very fast, too fast to notice flowers or talk to the worms. When it realized how different the world seemed when it rolled so quickly, it stopped, left its found piece by the side of the road and rolled slowly away.
The lesson of the story, I suggested, was that in some strange sense we are more whole when we are missing something. The man who has everything is in some ways a poor man. He will never know what it feels like to yearn, to hope, to nourish his soul with the dream of something better. He will never know the experience of having someone who loves him give him something he has always wanted or never had.
There is a wholeness about the person who has come to terms with his limitations, who has been brave enough to let go of his unrealistic dreams and not feel like a failure for doing so. There is a wholeness about the man or woman who has learned that he or she is strong enough to go through a tragedy and survive, she can lose someone and still feel like a complete person.
Life is not a trap set for us by God so that he can condemn us for failing. Life is not a spelling bee, where no matter how many words you’ve gotten right; you’re disqualified if you make one mistake. Life is more like a baseball season, where even the best team loses one third of its games and even the worst team has its days of brilliance. Our goal is to win more games than we lose.
When we accept that imperfection is part of being human, and when we can continue rolling through life and appreciate it, we will have achieved a wholeness that others can only aspire to. That, I believe, is what God asks of us—not “Be perfect”, not “Don’t even make a mistake”, but “Be whole.”
If we are brave enough to love, strong enough to forgive, generous enough to rejoice in another’s happiness, and wise enough to know there is enough l
ove to go around for us all, then we can achieve a fulfillment that no other living creature will ever know.
从前，一只圆圈缺了一块楔子。它想保持完整，便四处寻找那块楔子。由于不完整，所以它只能慢慢地滚动。一路上，它对花儿露出羡慕之色。它与蠕虫谈天侃地。它还欣赏到了阳光之美。圆圈找到了许多不同的楔子，但没有一件与它相配。所以，它将它们统统弃置路旁，继续寻觅。终于有一天，它找到了一个完美的配件。圆圈是那样地高兴，现在它可以说是完美无缺了。它装好配件，并开始滚动起来。现在它已成了一个完美的圆圈，所以滚动得非常快，以至于难以观赏花儿，也无暇与蠕虫倾诉心声。当圆圈意识到因快奔急骋使它失去了原有的世界时，它不禁停了下来，将找到的配件弃置路旁，又开始慢慢地滚动。
我觉得这个故事告诉我们，从某种奇妙的意义上讲，当我们失去了一些东西时反而更加完整。一个拥有一切的人其实在某些方面是个穷人。他永远也体会不到什么是渴望、期待及如何用美好梦想滋养自己的灵魂。他也永远不会有这样一种体验：一个爱他的人送给他某种他梦寐以求的或者从未拥有过的东西意味着什么。
人生的完整性在于知道如何面对缺陷，如何勇敢地摒弃不现实的幻想而又不以此为缺憾。人生的完整性还在于学会勇敢面对人生悲剧而继续生存，能够在失去亲人后依然表现出完整的个人风范。
人生不是上帝为谴责我们的缺陷而给我们布下的陷阱。人生也不是一场拼字游戏比赛，不管你拼出多少单词，一旦出现了一个错误，你便前功尽弃。人生更像是一个棒球赛季，即使最好的球队也会输掉1/3的比赛，而最差的球队也有春风得意的日子。我们的目标就是多赢球，少输球。
当我们接受不完整性是人类本性的一部分，当我们不断地进行人生滚动并能欣赏其价值时，我们就会获得其他人仅能渴望的完整人生。我相信这就是上帝对我们的要求：不求“完美”，也不求“永不犯错误”，而是求得人生的“完整”。如果我们能够勇敢地去爱，坚强地去宽容，大度地去为别人的快乐而高兴，明智地理解身边充满爱，那么我们就能取得别的生物所不能取得的成就。
Find Your Big Rocks Of Life 寻找你人生的大石头
One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget.
As he stood in front of the group of overachievers he said, “OK, time for a quiz.” He pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouth jar and set it on the table in front of him. He also produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, “Is this jar full?”
Everyone in the class yelled, “Yes.” The time management expert replied, “Really?” He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar, causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. He then asked the group once more, “Is this jar full?”
By this time the class was on to him. “Probably not,” one of them answered. “Good!” he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, “Is this jar full?”
“No!” the class shouted. Once again he said, “Good.” Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?” One eager student raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!”
“No,” the speaker replied, “that’s not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is if you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all. What are the ‘big rocks’ in your life? Time with your loved ones, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, teaching or mentoring others? Remember to put these big rocks in first or you’ll never get them in at all.”
一天，时间管理专家为一群学生讲课。他现场做了演示，给学生们留下了一生都难以磨灭的印象。
站在那些高智商高学历的学生前面，他说：“我们来做个小测验”，拿出一个一加仑的广口瓶放在他面前的桌上。随后，他取出一堆拳头大小的石块，仔细地一起放进玻璃瓶里。直到石块高出瓶口，再也放不下了，他问道：“瓶子满了？”
所有学生应道：“满了！”时间管理专家反问：“真的？”他伸手从桌下拿出一桶砾石，倒了一些进去，并敲击玻璃瓶壁使砾石填满下面石块的间隙。“现在瓶子满了吗？”他第二次问道。
但这一次学生有些明白了，“可能还没有”，一位学生应道。“很好！”专家说。他伸手从桌下拿出一桶沙子，开始慢慢倒进玻璃瓶。沙子填满了石块和砾石的.所有间隙。他又一次问学生：“瓶子满了吗？”
“没满！”学生们大声说。他再一次说：“很好！”然后他拿过一壶水倒进玻璃瓶直到水面与瓶口齐平，然后抬头看着学生，问道：“这个例子说明什么？”一个心急的学生举手发言：“无论你的时间多少，如果你确实努力，你可以做更多的事情！”
“不！”时间管理专家说，“那不是它真正的意思，这个例子告诉我们：如果你不是先放大石块，那你就再也不能把它放进瓶子里了。那么，什么是你生命中的大石头呢？也许是你的道德感、你的梦想？还有你的一切，记得先去处理这些大石块，否则，一辈子你都不能做！”