对你的爱人,不要说可能会伤害你们感情的话。这点的重要性丝毫不亚于对TA的甜言蜜语。只要一句说错的话,就可以使一天表现良好的言行付之东流。那些消极而伤人的话会重创你们的感情。
Here are those five things you should NEVER say to your spouse:
以下是对你的爱人坚决不能说的五句话:
1. It's your fault! Sometimes, a financial decision goes bad, one of your children gets in trouble at school, or some household calamity occurs. And know this - things do go bad from time to time in any relationship. Decisions turn out wrong. Stuff happens! But the blame game never works! It alienates. It divides. It most certainly undermines trust and opennein your relationship.
1.那是你的错!有时,会做出错误的经济开支决定,你的哪个孩子在学校闯祸了,或者出了一些家庭灾难。你需要知道,这些事情在任何家庭中都屡次发生。做出错误的决定,自然就发生了这样的事。但是,“责备”丝毫不会奏效。它只会疏远和离间你们,而且毫无疑问地会伤害到你们之间的信任和坦诚。
2. I told you so! Trust us on this - these four words are rarely ever used in successful marriages. This kind of "comeuppance" has no place in a loving relationship. There is no need to remind your spouse that you were right about something and they were wrong. Talk about wasted criticism!
2.我早告诉过你!相信我,在成功的婚姻里几乎不会出现这几个字。在爱情中不应有这种类似于“幸灾乐祸”的责难。你完全没有必要去提醒你的爱人,关于一些事你是对的而TA是错的。那些批评没有任何意义。
3. Saying "I am upset with you about this or that . . . ." in a public setting. Telling private secrets or criticizing your spouse in public or to someone else can do permanent damage to the trust in your relationship. True or not - it doesn't matter. Keep private things private.